FAQ

Maybe it’s just me, but I find the average “celebrity” bio about as exciting as a throat culture. So, I asked the best interviewer I know — me — to sit down for a little Q&A. The unedited transcript is below. (And let’s be honest here: I could have edited it to make myself seem all witty and well-adjusted, but I wanted to you to see the real me.)
 

Clinton, it’s so gracious of you to invite me to your lovely home. Would you like to begin by telling our readers where you’re from?
Sure, Clinton. By the way, I love your trousers. Burberry? I have the same ones. Anyway, I was born in Panama City, Panama, and raised on Long Island, in a town called Port Jefferson Station. I attended a public high school called Comsewogue — that’s Native American for “a walking path,” very multi-culti, eh?— where I was incredibly bored and alarmingly underappreciated by most of my classmates and all of my phys ed teachers. I remember wondering daily, “How come these people have no freakin’ idea how fabulous I am?”
 
Hmmm. That sucks.
No big whoop. I went to my ten-year reunion a while back and discovered that everyone felt bored and underappreciated. It’s called puberty.
 
And after high school …
I attended Boston College, where I received a B.A. in Communications in 1991. I double majored in that and Environmental Geosciences, but I dropped the geology thing the second semester of my senior year so I could take more writing classes. Those classes led me to pursue my master’s degree from Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism, which I received in 1993.

That path led you to “What Not to Wear,” didn’t it?
Absolutely. I worked as a freelance writer and editor in New York beginning in 1993, with stints as a contributing editor to Marie Claire and deputy editor of Mademoiselle. In 2003 I was working as executive editor of DNR, a trade magazine for the men’s fashion industry, sort of the men’s version of Women’s Wear Daily, when I received an email from Barbara Barna, who was recasting the male lead of WNTW. I had three auditions, and two weeks later I resigned from my position at DNR. At the time I was pretty sure we’d do ten episodes, get canceled, and I’d go crawling back to my old boss, begging him to take me back. But I was wrong.

How many episodes have you done as of right now?
One hundred and forty-something. Yikes!
 
Do you still keep in touch with people who’ve been on the show?
I would say about half. We’ll email or call each other every once in a while.
 
Do you and Stacy London really get along as well in person as you do on TV?
Actually, we do. Stacy and I have very similar senses of humor and tastes in fashion. It’s pretty rare that a workday goes by without a good belly laugh. Between takes we quote our favorite movies, especially “Poltergeist,” and we sing a lot of show tunes. We’re actually pretty good — when we’re in the same key.
 
Would you like to sing a little something right now?
You betcha. [Sings “Have You Never Been Mellow” by Olivia Newton-John.]
 
That’s not a show tune.
[Sings “The Ladies Who Lunch” from Company.]
 
Thank you. I get the idea.
I’m not finished yet. [Continues singing.] OK, now I’m done.  
 
Do you really throw away the clothes?
I’m so sick of this question. I swear I’m going to strangle the next person who asks me. I don’t throw them away. But the producers do. Well, actually they give away to charity anything that isn’t too disgusting.
 
So, do you really throw away the clothes?
Are you trying to be funny? If nothing else, I’m a man of my word. [Clasps hands around interviewer’s throat slightly tighter and slightly longer than necessary to make point.]
 
I might sue you for that.
Whatever.
 
What’s your sign, jerk?
I was born February 22, 1969, under the sign of Pisces. In fact, I’m a Pisces with a Pisces rising and a moon in Taurus, which I’m told makes me imaginative, creative and sensitive but firmly grounded in reality. And I am grounded in reality — reality television! Get it? Grounded in reality television. I crack myself up.
 
No you don’t. Really. Where do you get your clothes? Not that I care at this point. My neck hurts.
I get my clothes from lots of different places. Some clothes for the show are bought, some are borrowed. I wear a lot of Michael Kors, Ted Baker, Hugo Boss, Lacoste and Club Monaco. My favorite suits are by Armani and Lanvin. And I love shoes by Bally, Ferragamo and Lambertson Truex.
 
How tall are you?
I’m six foot four.

And how much do you weigh?
190.
 
Liar. You weigh 200. Ten pounds more than you did this time last year.
I know, but I could lose those ten pounds if I wanted to. And don’t contradict me again, Pencil Neck. I hope I left a bruise.
 
I think you did. Now talk about your hobbies. That’s the next question on this list you gave me.
I didn’t give you any list. As you know, I don’t have as much time as I’d like to pursue my hobbies, but I enjoy reading fiction, travel, making mosaics, cooking, Scrabble, playing with my nephews, and renovating my house in Connecticut.
 
What television shows do you watch?
I’m addicted to Project Runway, Survivor, and for some ungodly reason, The Real World/Road Rules Challenges.
 
And my last question: Are you gay?
I can’t believe you just asked me that. That’s not on the list.
 
I thought you said there was no list. I only asked because some people seem to care.
I don’t care why you asked. The question, while stemming from a natural curiosity, could be considered rude and, worse, indicative of an asker’s less-evolved nature. When will we stop slapping labels on other people? “That guy’s gay.” “That girl’s a slut.” “That dog’s humping my leg.” If it doesn’t concern you, mind your own business.

OK, OK. Don’t get your panties in a pinch.
I don’t wear panties. You think that because I talk about A-line skirts and pointy-toed shoes for a living, I wear women’s underwear? I think this interview is over.
 
Good. I’m going to see a doctor.
Well, this has been a pleasure. Please don’t let the French doors hit you on the way out. And to answer your last question …

Yes?
Duh.